During this argument both man and woman have made good points. However, only one person makes a valid point in the name of courtly love, meaning only one person is right. Since you cannot agree on who is right for yourselves, you have chosen me, Marie, the Countess of Champagne, to decide between the two of you who has the right idea about love.
You both argue whether love exists in marriage, and whether envy between lovers is just. Man, you have said that in most cases love does not exist in marriage. Woman you have contended with that opinion by stating that that love develops within the marriage. Or in other words you grow to love your partner that you are married to. Man, believes that love is the uncontrollable desire to want to have sex. Woman says that sex is just another way to strengthen the bond of love. Man believes that love is not something that develops through marriage, love develops before marriage. Man states that jealousy is the nature of love, and without it true love cannot exist. Woman says that love can exist without a sin such as jealousy.
However the rules of courtly love must come into context. Marriage is deterrent to love. Just because you are married doesn’t mean that you should still love the person after you get married. This is basically saying that people do not get married because they love each other. In most cases these marriages are arranged. So if you want to love someone other than your marriage partner, it is perfectly fine in the rules of courtly love. Love cannot exist in an individual who cannot be jealous. You might even call love a sin because it is the envy that keeps it alive. The easy attainment of love makes it of little value, but if the attainment of love is a difficult, it makes the relationship more precious. Man you are trying to attain the love of the Woman, but do want her as a wife. He is trying hard to get her to love him, so he thinks the love will be stronger because of his efforts. However, Woman says she cannot be bound by a double love, another courtly love rule. She is already married to another man, so she believes she cannot love this Man. Using both Man and Woman’s portrayal of the courtly love rules, I have made my decision.
I have chosen the Man as the correct person because I agree with all your beliefs on the courtly love rules. Man, you overrule the Woman because he seems to know more rules about courtly love than the Woman, and you use them wisely against her in your argument. Man has abided by the rules no matter what his true wants may be. He knows the rules well and always has an immediate answer for the woman. Woman may have a point regarding her own opinion, but some of her argument has nothing to do with the rules of courtly love.
You must leave the woman be, for she does not desire to be with you. There is really nothing you can do regarding the arguement even though you are right in most cases. She is a married woman and it is up to her to decide what she wants in life.
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